I Hope You’re Right, but What if You’re ALL Wrong…….
Ever since Super Mighty Max was born, and we were made aware of his health challenges, 99.9% of people have all said the same thing or some variation. Such as……
“Don’t worry, he’s going to be okay!”
“Just wait, he’s going to be a miracle baby”
“You know, my cousin’s Auntie, nephew baby was born like that, and they’re fine now, your baby will be okay”
“Just speak life into him”
“We’re going to keep him prayer, he’s going to be okay!”
Now, don’t get me wrong, I believe in faith, hope, healing, positive thinking, miracles, and being encouraged! Quite honestly, if people felt that they HAD TO SAY SOMETHING, I’d rather hear a positive word of encouragement, than something pessimistic. However, sometimes, we don’t have to say anything, a lot of times just listening is enough. Just being present is enough.
The other day, I was sharing with a preacher friend some of the challenges of raising Super Mighty Max and he gave me, what I felt like was the “standard” preacher response, “its going to be okay, he’ll be fine.” My response was, “what if he won’t be okay, what if he won’t be fine? What if he doesn’t get healed? What if he never walks? What if he never talks? What if he never crawls or rolls over? What if he’s not the testimony you told me to expect? What if he’s not like your Auntie’s nephew baby? What if he always has seizures? What if he has cerebral palsy? What if he’s intellectually disabled?
I Hope You’re Right, but What if You’re ALL Wrong, Will he still be okay? Will he still be a miracle? Did we not pray hard enough? Did we not anoint him the right way? Was our faith not strong enough? Is he cursed? Is God punishing us? Did we not believe enough? Fast enough? Hope enough?
Look, this post is not meant to discourage anyone from hoping the best, but you have to understand, raising a son with special needs is complicated. It’s hard! Its more than black and white! It takes faith! As a man, husband, father, and pastor, I’m learning that life and faith is very complex. It’s a journey! I’m also learning to love Super Mighty Max for who he is, not who I hope for him to be! I’m learning to accept him for who he is and to celebrate each achievement and milestone reached. I’ll continue to pray and hope for the best, while at the same time, loving the miracle baby that God blessed my wife and I with!!
Posted on September 29, 2015, in Disability and tagged faith, healing, hope, love. Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.
This is such a brave post, because it articulates how many of us really feel in the face of challenges. Many of us want to believe that everything will be “okay” and our “okay” means normative views of how people should look and act, when in reality it will always be okay– God’s vision of okay. I can’t begin to pretend I understand what you are going through. Mighty Max and you two stay in my prayers. But I do know God is working in a “mighty” way through your testimony. And that the pictures you send of Max and the love you two show each other help brighten my days. Many, many continued blessings!
Thank you, I meant to add that in my post, “it will be okay, just not how everyone else views it.” Thank you!
MY WORDS EXACTLY…YOU GUYS ARE SPECIAL AND THAT’S WHY HE GAVE YOU’LL MIGHTY MAX….
This speaks to my heart! I’ve heard it all, and have found myself having the same type of conversations. It’s hard!!! But i know in my heart that regardless of how the future turns out, my baby girl, along with Max, were still fearfully and wonderfully made!
Yes, absolutely! That’s what we have to always remember! God created them and blessed them!
Thanks for affirming this. Yes, your baby girl and Max are!