To all of my family and friends with “typical” kids this post is for you.

After her missed monthly cycle, a pregnancy test confirms she is expecting, and all she wishes for is a healthy baby.  Once she announces her pregnancy to the world, the congratulations pour in wishing her a healthy pregnancy with a healthy baby in the end.  She finds herself saying I don’t care what the gender is “as long as its healthy”.  Or even “as long as the baby is healthy” everything will be fine.

But, what if your healthy pregnancy doesn’t end up in a healthy baby?  What if your healthy child ends up with a terminal disease?  What if the child you prayed for the most will never crawl, walk, or even talk?  Would you love that child less because they aren’t healthy?  Would you be mad at God for not giving you the desires of your heart? Would you not fight and advocate on behalf of your child? 

This last year I have been distant from many family members and friends, and its not because I don’t love you any less its because of this thought of healthy.  I prayed for a healthy baby and God gave me an amazing one with complex medical needs.  I wrestle with the why and feel God molding me into my purpose.  But if I can be honest, I envy your Facebook and Instagram posts of your kids doing what they should do, being kids, and wonder will Max ever do those kid things?  

  
I wrestle everyday on what to share and what to keep to myself regarding Max’s care, and should I be honest about how I feel.  This is the main reason my husband and I started this blog to share the ups and downs of being a special needs parent.  I ask myself often why do we focus on Heath and not how awesome and blessed the child is?

What does healthy really look like?  What does awesome look like? 

Everyday I wake up and I see a smiling little innocent boy who looks up at me like I’m his world.  That is what awesome looks like.

Every day for the last two months I’ve seen Max take a shot in his thighs to rid of seizure activity, and he doesn’t even cry y’all.  He can get a shot in his sleep, and won’t even wake up.  That is what awesome looks like.

Every week he endures physical and occupational therapy so he can become more mobile and take food by mouth.  This is what awesome looks like.

Everyday I wake up and I thank God for giving me another chance to be Max’s mom.  Am I strong?  No, but God gives me strength every day to walk in my purpose.  I know that if you were in my shoes you would do the same thing, fighting and advocating on behalf of your child.

So next time we say, “as long as it’s healthy,” consider replacing healthy with awesome, because no matter the health, our children will always be Awesome, Amazing, Super, Mighty, and Blessed! 
Keep the Faith!

~Erica