Category Archives: Infant Loss
As a pastor/preacher, I pride myself in heralding the Good News of Jesus Christ! In fact, I’m sure in almost all of my sermons, I say something to the effect of, “the Good News is.” When people come to church on Sunday, I want them to know that in spite of what they’re going through, there is Good News. I try my best to preach about faith, hope, trust, praising God in advance, and all the other wonderful virtues that the Gospel of Christ entails. Not only do I preach the Good News, I try to believe and live out the Good News for myself– you know, take my own medicine.
However, there are times in life when the bad news of life, tries its best to choke out the Good/good news in life. In life, when it seems as if all you’ve received is bad news, time after time, it’s extremely hard to receive good news. In fact, when all you’re used to hearing is bad news, the bad news seems to be more palatable to your heart, mind, and spirit.
How do I know this? Because in my own experience, parenthood has at times, been nothing but a blizzard of bad news. Losing 1 child, then another child, then having a child with special needs/disabilities, and then not being able to have more children with my wife (except through surrogacy and/or adoption) has been a rough journey. As some of you may know, parenting Super Mighty Max has come with its share of trials, tribulations, tears, and terrifying news. In my opinion, no one in their right mind likes to hear bad news. Bad news breaks hearts! Bad news can divide families. Bad news can make you act out of character. Bad news will cause emotions to erupt. Bad news can make you doubt God. That’s the truth about bad news!
The lie about bad news is, all news, ain’t bad news and despite what you’ve experienced in the past, everything won’t turn out bad! For me, this is birthed out of my experience with Super Mighty Max; who has been battling with seizures over the past 14-months. Over that time period, we’ve tried numerous seizure medications, and research says once you’ve unsuccessfully tried two anti-seizure medications, the chances of being seizure free is very unlikely!
Well, instead of trying another seizure medication on Super Mighty Max, in December we put him on the Ketogenic Diet, which is a high fat, moderate protein, and low carb diet. During his first 30 days of being on the diet, my wife and I still noticed seizures and wondered if this diet would actually work for him. That was the first 30 days! The Good News is, for the past 2 1/2 weeks, we can probably count on one hand how many seizures we’ve seen! Super Mighty Max has gone from having multiple seizures an hour to not having any visible seizures on some days, at all. This is wonderful new! For Super Mighty Max, not having any seizure could be a total game-changer in his development! Again, this is Good News, because it allows us to hope, believe, and have faith in different possibilities for our son!
Today, I’m grateful for the lie about bad news and the truth about Good News! The Good News is, no matter what it looks like, God is in control! The Good News is, no matter what we encounter, God is in the situation with us! The Good News is, no matter what the bad news may be, God can turn it into Good News! The Good News is, whatever the news is, God will sustain! The Good News is, right now, Super Mighty Max has had a dramatic decrease in seizures, and I celebrate that! Will you join me in believing in the Good News???
Stay Super, Make Mighty Moves, Be Blessed,
BJ, I’m writing this letter to you, because I never got the chance to talk to you in person. Its been 3 years now, since you’ve been gone. Time has definitely flown by. I miss you, I really do miss you, sometimes all I can think about is how life can be so unfair. I still don’t know why you had to go, I understand somewhat, why you didn’t make it, but that’s only the medical side of it. Intellectually, spiritually, mentally, I don’t get it.
On Sunday, while driving to church, all I could think about was you. I shed a few tears, reflected, cried, and teared up again. Behind those tears is the pain of you not being here. It’s the pain of not knowing what you look like at 3 years old. It’s the pain of disappointment. It’s the pain of not teaching you how to go potty, or get dressed, or brush your teeth. It’s the pain of never being able to see you smile. It’s the pain of never seeing you crawl or walk. It’s the pain of never throwing the football with you. It’s the pain of anticipating a great gift, but then feeling like I was robbed of the gift. Its the pain of feeling and wondering if I didn’t something wrong to make this happen. It’s the pain, of pain, I don’t have the words to articulate. Again, it’s the pain of you not being here.
Since you left us, it’s been hard on your mother and I. While each day gets better, we still grieve your loss. We’re smiling again, but we miss you still. We’re laughing again, but we still think of you. We’re getting on with life, but apart of us is missing, because you’re not here. Honestly, some days are better than others.
I’m sure you already know, but we have a son now, your little brother, named Maxwell, who is our heart and joy. He’s a fighter and extremely resilient. I bet he looks how you would’ve looked at his age. We know that you and your little sister Brielle, are looking down on him, to cheer him on from Heaven. When he’s of age, we’ll tell him about you. Not only him, but the world! We will continue to tell your story and help other families with similar stories! We will make sure you’re never forgotten!
PS…I’m going to blow out a candle in your honor, I’m sure you like cake, just like your daddy!